Lately I've been listening to a lot of Led Zeppelin. Unhealthily so. I haven't obsessively listened an album since eighth grade when I discovered Pearl Jam's music. I listened to their album Alive hundreds of times and I felt this tingle in my stomach, a sort of lifting, even longing, for something else; I'm still unsure of the exact feeling. But now I'm listening to Led Zeppelin, they're a different tone, but I get that same feeling and I lie on my bed with my eyes closed and blast the music in my ears, drowning out everything else. I feel the longing, but now it's different, I know what I want now, I want to do better, to break down my walls and do what I know I can. I'm always stopping myself when I want to do something big because I'm afraid that It won't make it, that it'll fall into mediocrity and I'll be a sham. But I need to stop being afraid of taking the fall, I need to take a leap of faith and just do what I set out to. This is the same for assignments at school. I don't do them in because I feel like they're not 100%, they need to be perfect for me to turn it in. So I do it a little and don't turn it in: sometimes I turn them in late and rushed which makes no sense because then they're definitely less than one hundred percent!
Anyways, back to the point... I've been listening to Led Zeppelin and I have been getting the same feeling in my gut, but now it turns into anger at myself. I have no idea why I don't do these things, but I need to just do them! I'm already too late to make up past mistakes, but I seriously need to stop myself from not graduating high school just because I was unmotivated to change my habits!
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